"AHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed. I had to tell someone about this. The next day I told Richard. "What did it look like?" he asked.
"Well it was orange and covered in pepper for some reason," I answered.
"Anything else?" he asked .
"Well, it didn't have any scales, if had fur instead."
"That's one weird crocodile" Richard said. The next day I found the crocodile again but this time it bit me! "Help," I whispered, but It was too late as I fell into a deep sleep and forgot everything !!!
Hi Ashton, Room 5 read your story. Mrs Kay liked the way you hooked us in at the beginning, from Room 5
ReplyDeleteAshton, you've got me hooked straight away. I was desperate to know more about this crocodile. I only wish that you have more words to continue your writing with, as your descriptions are super.
ReplyDeleteNext time consider using similes to add to your description. These are sentences which compare two things using the words as or like e.g. the clouds were fluffy like cotton wool.
Until then, keep up the good work!